For a long time I was an unhappy person. My job wasn’t satisfying, I didn’t see my friends enough, I never had enough time. Now I have a job that’s helping me grow, I see my friends all the time, and I know I have all the time I need. I am, on the whole, a very happy person now. How all those things happened is a subject for another post; what I want to discuss here is this: what now?
When I was unhappy, I had clear goals. Become happy. Fix the problems. Life was hard and sad, but I had a destination. The happier I become, the harder that destination is to imagine. What more could I want? How good can life really get?
If I were content to just stay the way I am, this wouldn’t be a problem. But I’m not. I care deeply about personal growth, and at 24 years old I’m not ready to say my journey is over. But I’m not sure how to continue to grow without becoming discontent with where I am now. And if I’m always unhappy wherever I am, I’ll just be unhappy all the time.
I think this problem held back my growth for a long time. What happens, I thought, if I succeed and become happy? I’ll have nothing to grow towards! And so I sabotaged my own progress. I held myself back from learning and changing, lest I succeed and have no more learning to do.
Of course, there’s still plenty of work I can do. I’m just trying to learn to do it without being unhappy first.
Being unhappy is a great motivator. But who wants to live like that?